Interview: Micheala Mathiesen Miller and Maddie Womack of Barrier Babes
We like to take time to highlight women we see out in the world doing their part to make the world a little nicer. In this Real Nice Lady Spotlight, we’re talking to Micheala Mathiesen Miller and Maddie Womack, of Barrier Babes, about how sexual health affects us all.
Job Title/Profession
MM: Chief Operating Officer
MW: Founder/CEO of Barrier Babes
Favorite Drink?
MM: Iced Coffee
MW: Red Bull or Anderson Erickson chocolate milk
Favorite Food?
MM: Sushi
MW: Literally any pizza, ranging from delivery stuffed crust to brick oven-fired Neapolitan
Karaoke Song?
MM: “Take A Chance On Me” by ABBA
MW: "Goodbye Earl" by The Chicks
What song are you listening to on repeat right now?
MM: “Good to Sea” by Pinback
MW: "Sexxx Dreams" by Lady Gaga
Female icon you would be for Halloween?
MM: Aubrey Plaza
MW: The Bride from Kill Bill
Telling as little or as much as you want, how are you feeling these days?
MM: Optimistic and busy! Lots of juggling but I feel motivated most days.
MW: Argumentative.
What part(s) of your life during the pandemic have made you rethink your "normal" life?
MM: I was sick of "going out" and spending $80 at a bar before and now it has been confirmed that I still don't miss it!
MW: I've said "no" to so many things during the pandemic to protect my health and the health of others. Before the pandemic, I found myself saying "yes" to things when I wanted to say "no." Post-pandemic, I am determined to say "no" more. Boundaries are a cool new addition to my life.
What first attracted you to your current profession?
MM: Fulfillment - I need a career that feels like I am genuinely trying to help others.
MW: My favorite class in college - Human Sexuality taught by the phenomenal Jenny McKee
Tell me a little bit about how you two met and formed the business partnership that you now have.
MM: Maddie and I met while I was employed at Big Brothers Big Sisters. She attended a Period Party that we hosted for the youth in our program on behalf of The Homeless Period Project. We quickly aligned our goals with one another and partnered up. Our partnership is the dream. We motivate each other, we both bring varying strengths to the organization, our work ethic is alike, and we complement one another extremely well.
MW: I actually started Barrier Babes back in January of 2019, and was doing it on my own with some help here and there. Micheala and I initially met at a “period party” for some youth in the community where I was presenting. We were actually connected by one of our current Ambassadors and the rest is history. I couldn’t imagine doing this without her, and she’s taken Barrier Babes to a whole new level. We’re a power duo.
In your own words, what ideas and values does Barrier Babes operate on?
MM: Barrier Babes operates on the idea that sex education and sexual health are an essential part of health and wellness just like any other anatomical events and should be openly discussed without fear or shame and be inclusive! Accessibility is a huge value to this organization, not only on a financial basis (all of our services and content are 100% free), but also the large population of LGBTQIA+ folks that are often left out of sex education conversation, we prioritize making room for everyone in our dialogue.
MW: Barrier Babes operates on being unapologetic, inclusive, and calling out bullshit.
What is your favorite thing about your industry? Your least favorite?
MM: Favorite - Connecting with other organizations to better accomplish our mission. Least favorite - It can feel overwhelming to try to meet the need at times but it’s all the more reason to continue to pursue growth for our organization.
MW: My favorite thing about being in the nonprofit industry would be connecting with the awesome and caring people of KC. My least favorite thing would be the broken system we live under that creates problems for the awesome and caring people of KC.
What do you want for the future of your industry?
MM: We want to make Barrier Babes our full-time careers and continue to grow Barrier Babes. The future of this industry depends on destigmatization. We need transparency, education, and accessibility ASAP to create a community where everyone can be equipped with the knowledge and tools to thrive and be healthy!
MW: I want mutual aid to be at the forefront of the nonprofit industry.
What advice would you give other women trying to succeed in your industry?
MM: Just keep learning and chipping away at your to-do list. Baby bites and slow and steady strategies have been the most rewarding in my experience, especially if you are learning as you go. Embrace the nerves and know that everyone is winging it out there. Pauses and breaks are productive! Don't compare yourself to others and trust that you will ultimately succeed!! Keep going!
MW: If you notice something that needs fixing in the community, go find the black woman that has been working on the solution for years, and offer to lend a hand.
What was a formative moment in your life that made you who you are?
MM: I experienced a childhood that made me grow up a lot faster than my peers and I feel that it has directly impacted my motivation to have control over my own path and how I envision my life. Additionally, in 2018, after zero health issues my entire life, I became very sick and was diagnosed with a lifelong chronic illness. It has completely changed how I take care of myself and forced me to stop overworking myself. Up until that point I had 3 jobs and school for nearly a decade. I said yes to too many things and I believe that lifestyle had a direct impact on my eventual diagnosis. I am thankful to finally be able to enjoy my life and wish that I could go back and tell myself to make those changes a long time ago.
MW: Once again, my time in Human Sexuality class taught by the phenomenal Jenny McKee
How did your own education on reproductive and sexual health care growing up affect how you approach it with Barrier Babes?
MM: There was no education growing up and I did not come from a household where I felt comfortable asking the questions that I needed to. I resorted to figuring it out on my own, full of embarrassment and shame. Eventually, I had friends in high school that taught me how to use a tampon. I am extremely motivated to see Barrier Babes make changes to how society treats sex education so that youth from any household are comfortable and healthy.
MW: My lack of sex ed definitely fueled my interest in sexual health early on. I went to a public school that had a district-wide “abstinence-only policy,” which, by the way, I still can’t figure out how they pulled that off considering public schools don’t have religious affiliations. So our sex ed consisted of worst case scenario STD photos, with the intention of “have sex and this WILL happen to you.” Also, a random child development teacher once told us to always pee after sex. I graduated high school with scare tactics and one solid piece of advice that came with no explanation. So when I started Barrier Babes, I was like, people need to know how awful and inaccurate sex education is nationwide, but I’m also going to approach the topic of sex in an unapologetic way to counteract the bad sex ed I recieved. Like, my teachers in high school tried to keep it muted and now I’ve turned the volume up to the max.
What are some misconceptions in sexual health and sexual education that you would love to see go away?
MM: The complete LACK of conversation that perpetuates shame and "feeling dirty" and ignorance. This is an extremely dangerous and harmful rhetoric that our society has devolved into.
MW: So many things. So many. But specifically, sex is not equal to penis in vagina. It can be whatever you want between whoever you want. Also, STD/STIs (sexually transmitted diseases/sexually transmitted infections) (both acronyms are the same thing, just worded differently) are common and normal, and most can be easily cured. And the ones that can’t be cured, can be treated and can allow a person to live a normal life.
When do you feel the strongest in your life? When do you feel the most vulnerable in your life?
MM: I feel so strong lately. I have been working towards setting healthy boundaries between myself and work, family, friends, etc. and it makes me feel so strong to be able to make this my new normal without question. I feel vulnerable when I am overwhelmed and feel like my personal time is being taken away from me. Personal time is sacred, not only to rest, but to accomplish personal productivity like a doctor’s appointment, or walking my dog, or cleaning my home.
MW: I feel strongest when people laugh at my jokes and when my mom tells me I'm pretty. I feel most vulnerable during conflict.
Given the state of the world, what have you been doing to maintain your mental health lately?
MM: I spend lots of time with my nieces and nephew Stella, Cora, and LJ. They are my tiny best friends. They remind me to laugh about things and it is extremely therapeutic. They don't even realize how much they help me!!
MW: I definitely have not been good about maintaining my mental health/making time to maintain it, as I am a healthcare worker by day. I did just adopt a new kitten though so that has definitely sparked some serotonin.
Who are five women that inspire you?
MM: Marie Curie, Kristen Wiig, Regina Spektor, Angela Davis, and Madison Womack
MW: My mom, Lashay Wagner, Justice Gatson, Polly Rodriguez, and Micheala Maria Mathiesen-Miller of course
What does 2021 look like for Barrier Babes? How can the Kansas City community support you and your missions?
MM: 2021 looks like growth! We have worked so hard to achieve 501(c)3 and set up our operations and logistics behind the scenes. 2021 is all about applying for grants, fulfilling our mission, and establishing our roots in the community. We are truly the phrase "small but mighty" as we have already become a successful nonprofit, we only hope to continue to grow and eventually make Barrier Babes our full-time careers. The community can support our mission by staying in touch with us, engaging with us, following us, sharing our content with others, attending our events, hosting collection drives, partnering with us, donating to us whether monetary or in-kind, there are so many ways!!
MW: 2021 looks like community growth for Barrier Babes. Partnering with more organizations, doing more product drop-offs, and lending help where needed. KC can support us by sharing our social media posts, recommending organizations to partner with, and making product or monetary donations to us to help us reach our goals.